The Holidays hold a variety of meaning, memories, experiences and emotions for each of us. You may experience excitement and are able to soak in the magical moments. Or perhaps, you may feel a sense of dread. Loneliness, grief, mental health conditions, financial stress and overwhelm may be magnified.
The following five tips are suggestions to help manage the stress that so often accompanies the holiday season.
1. Brain dump.
Write down everything that you want to or feel you need to do this holiday season. Writing in itself is therapeutic. Writing uses various regions in your brain and allows you to get out all of your thoughts on paper, verse letting them swirl around in your head.
2. Evaluate and Align Core Values.
Evaluate your core values and what you actually hope and want for this holiday season.
Visualize and ask yourself the following questions. To make it even more effective write down your answers:
- What do I value most about the holidays?
- Who do I want to spend my time with?
- What feelings do I want to experience?
- How do I want to spend my money and resources?
- What memories do I want to create that my future self will thank me for?
Now compare your list of everything you feel you need to do with your answers from your core values. Consciously let go of what does not align. Of course this is much easier said than done. However, doing everything on your list creates overwhelm and exhaustion. True, letting go of some things may be difficult. You will need to weigh your options and ultimately choose that which best aligns with what you most value.
3. Evaluate Thought Patterns.
As you evaluate your “brain dump” begin to take note of your thought patterns. Perhaps, some of your overwhelm and stress are coming from your own thoughts and beliefs of how the holidays should be. For example, what on your list are you doing because you feel you “should” do it? Or perhaps, you are carrying on some traditions that no longer serve you or your family? Take note of should thinking, thinking in absolutes or all or nothing thought patterns. Is it time to let go of a tradition or begin a new one? Or perhaps, just for this year do you need to adjust traditions? How could you give your self more compassion?
4. Acknowledge Your Sphere of Control and Set Boundaries.
Recall what is within your control and what is not. Focus on what is within your control and ACT on that. Allow your feelings and process your feelings for those things that are not in your control, which still may impact you. However, when you spend time and energy trying to control that which you cannot, you create increased frustration, anxiety, resentment and resistance.
When focusing on what is within your control it is helpful to remember the importance of setting boundaries not only with others, but also with yourself. Setting boundaries is actually a form of self-care and crucial for positive mental and emotional health and for cultivating healthy relationships. Remember you can still be kind AND say No.
5. Find Micro-Moments of Joy.
One thing that you can always control, even in the midst of chaos is seeking to notice the micro-moments of joy in your day. When you consciously seek for the good you are wiring neural-pathways to find it. If you want to more fully enjoy your holiday season look for the small moments of good and take the time to savor it. Pause and engage your physical senses to soak it in. This only takes 10-30 seconds. If you find yourself constantly on auto-pilot or excessively multi-tasking try setting an alarm on your phone to ring during the day to prompt you to do a self-check in and ground yourself in the present moment. Bring yourself back to the present moment … what do you see, smell, hear, feel or taste?
This season has the potential to be your most favorite time of year or your most dreaded. Yes, there will be things that are out of your control this holiday season. Remember grief and gratitude can coexist. You have more power than you may realize in how you respond to the holiday overwhelm.
If you find yourself in need of some extra support this holiday season please seek help from a licensed mental health professional.
There is help. There is hope.
Posts for educational purposes only. Not a replacement for therapy.
