Do you like math? Well, you’re in luck there is an emotional equation to anxiety. The two main variables are:
- What we don’t know or uncertainty
- What we can’t control or perceived lack of control
Think about times in your life when you have been anxious. Almost always there are components of uncertainty, fear or a sense of powerlessness.
This approach is often used in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy … and no, you don’t really have to be a mathematician to utilize it.
The equation is:
Anxiety = Overestimation of Danger / Underestimation of Resources or Ability to Cope
Overestimation of Danger:
Humans are often very good at overestimating danger. Particularly, when our Nervous System’s have been in a prolonged state of fight, flight, or freeze. (Stay tuned that is for another post!) Our brains are amazing at responding to non-life threatening situations as if they could be life threatening. Humans are also very good at scanning for danger and hanging on to past real or perceived dangers.
What To Do:
- Provide yourself with a great deal of self-compassion. Shame and frustration keep you stuck in anxiety loops. Work on acknowledging that your brain is trying to do its job at keeping you safe.
“Thanks brain, but I’ve got this!”
2) Look for evidence if your feared outcome or thought could come true.
What is the best case scenario? What is the worst case scenario? What is the MOST likely scenario?
3) Practice thinking in terms of percentages … what is the percentage of _________ happening?
4) Examine your thinking errors. Could you be taking part in magnification, fortune telling, overgeneralization or tunnel vision.
5) If the worst case scenario actually happened what could you do to cope?
Underestimation of Resources or Ability to Cope:
Underestimation of Resources or Ability to Cope happens to be my favorite variable of the equation. This is where you have the most control and power over your unique, individual story. You recognize that you may magnify your fears, often things are not as worse as you once believed them to be. However, you also know that part of being human brings great pain and suffering. You know that bad things do happen. Perhaps they have happened to you.
When you can focus your efforts on increasing your resources, coping skills, building resiliency and strengthening your belief that you can cope, that you can handle and do hard things; that is where your growth and power lies.
What To Do:
- Increase your coping skills toolbox. Often we are not taught about how to FEEL and mange big feelings. When anxiety comes we often tend to avoid rather than face.
- Increase your ability to tolerate discomfort. Literally tell yourself, “I can handle this difficult feeling.” “This is a feeling and this feeling will pass.”
- Take time to examine when you have made it through difficult experiences in the past. What helped you then? What could help you now?
- Reflect on who you could ask for help. What support systems do you need to put in place?
- Move forward … when you move forward, even with uncertainty, you are teaching your brain you can do hard things and that you are OK. It is as the saying goes, “The only way out is through.”
The equation seems simple on paper, yet in real life it can be messy and at times SO hard.
Seeking professional services or therapy can be so helpful in navigating anxiety.
Remember … There is hope. There is help.
Erika Behunin, LCSW
*Posts are for educational purposes only. Not a replacement for therapy or professional help.
